Retford United 4 v Dunkirk FC0 - Notts Senior Cup Semi Final

Tuesday 30th March 2010. 

Notts Senior Cup Semi Final.

at Cannon Park, Retford 

Retford United (0) 4 

Thomas 53, 

Marrison 61, 68 pen, 

Godber 70) 

Dunkirk FC (0) 0

Admission £8.

Programme £1.50. 

Attendance: 92

The Notts Senior Cup Final will take place on Monday May 10th, Kick Off 7.30PM at Meadow Lane, the home of Notts County FC. It will be contested between Retford United and the winners of the other Semi Final, that will be played between Forest Town and Eastwood Town on 13th April, after the Badgers scored four second half goals without reply tonight against Dunkirk FC of the East Midlands Counties League. Certainly not where I'd planned to be tonight, but an half decent game and a few good laughs along the way never the less. Matlock Town v Worksop Town was postponed at dinner time, due to the Causeway Lane pitch already being waterlogged by then, so I had a wander up to Cannon Park to watch a game tonight instead. When I arrived at 7.10PM the referee had just announced that if there was another good downpour in the next half an hour the game would be off ... thankfully the next 'good downpour' waited until midway through the second half. But it was still a drizzly and blowy night, so it was just as well that a new seated section and standing cover for 200 spectators has been erected at Cannon Park recently, very recently in fact. Of course, some traditionalists have habits that are hard to break and they preferred to stand out in the wind and rain regardless. Me, I took refuge with my prawn sandwich in the back row.

A giant lug worm devours a steward while some fascinated children look on

The first time I saw these two sides play each other was at the Ron Steels Sports Ground on Lenton Lane in Nottingham, when Dunkirk FC were hosting Retford United in a Central Midlands League game that was played in farcical conditions. The wind was blowing so strong that I saw a goal kick, pumped up the pitch towards the centre circle by the Retford keeper, get caught up in the wind and go out for a corner without another player getting anywhere near it. At an earlier match that day (it was a Central Midlands League ground hop day) a large section of an uprooted tree crashed onto the roof of the stand at Pelican FC, just a couple of feet from where we were stood. Elsewhere, the nearby Football League fixture between Mansfield Town and Oxford United was abandoned at half time because it was deemed impossible to play on in such storm like conditions. But all 5 (five) games we went to that day in the CML went ahead regardless. Of course, this season Mansfield Town v Oxford United isn't a Football League fixture any more.

Anyway, I'm meandering off on a tangent, so getting back on topic ... last season Retford United knocked Dunkirk out of the Notts Senior Cup at the quarter final stage, by virtue of a single goal by Micky Godber. Tonight, for the first half at least, it didn't look like there would be much separating the two teams by the end of this game either. Dunkirk put ten past Anstey Nomads in an EMCL fixture at the weekend and they certainly weren't just here to make the numbers up. Well, not for a while at least. The Boatmen gave a very good account of themselves until United had grabbed a two goal cushion through Thomas and Marrison. By which time the strength sapping pitch conditions were starting to tell on both teams, but mostly on the visitors. When Marrison scored his second and United's third from the spot, it was effectively game over, but an RUFC steward stood near us commented that he would like "a couple of more goals just to make sure after Saturday's capitulation" Micky Godber added a fourth to be on the safe side and with the weather worsening by the minute, I don't think anybody would've minded too much that there would be no extra time and penalties tonight now. The four nil victory was fashioned out of hard work on a very heavy pitch that will have taken a lot out of the players ... Retford are straight back in action on Friday with a home game against the rejuvenated Durham City (kick off at 3PM), their third home game in six days.

"Baby it's cold outside"

Worksop Town have no games at all scheduled over the 'Blank Holiday Weekend' and won't be playing again now, until the rearranged game at Matlock Town next Wednesday. 

So, will I be at the Badgers again later this week for a football fix? I've always watched a good few games there most seasons and have a lot of good mates at Cannon Park, but is three Retford United games in a row really the kind of behaviour that can be condoned in anybody trying to preserve their neutral status? 

Looking at the weather forecast, I'm assuming that tomorrow night's Under 19's fixture between Handsworth and Worksop Town will be off, which will force a Cannon Park fixture trilogy dilemma on me. 

Hmm, watch this space...

FOOTNOTE Added Wednesday 31st March Handsworth v Worksop Town, North Midlands Under 19 League POSTPONED - WATERLOGGED PITCH!

Retford United v Frickley Athletic - UniBond League Premier Division

Attishoo!!! Nice legs, shame about the cold ;-)

Saturday 27th March 2010. UniBond League Premier Division
at Cannon Park, Retford

Retford United (3) 3 (Colin Marrison 5, Marquin Smith 18, Neil Harvey 39)
Frickley Athletic (2) 5 (Danny Walsh 41, 43 both pens, Adam Lee 62, 85, 90)

Admission £8. Programme £2. Attendance 297
Two programmes, one for the original fixture from 26.12.09 which was postponed due to crap weather, the other for today, but dated 30.03.10.
So, the Badgers stormed into a 3-0 lead and it looked like some kind of landslide massacre was on the cards.
Marrison knocked home the opener before Frickley were even out of the starting blocks and on 18 minutes Marquin Smith knocked the ball beyond the flailing reach of Adam Nicklin in the visitors goal and ran on to knock the ball into the now unguarded net.
Five minutes before the break Neil Harvey cleverly bought the ball down on the edge of the box and hit home a powerful volley on the turn.
Frickley looked deflated and defeated, but found the reserves from somewhere to keep their heads up and keep on keeping on. It probably had something to do with their boss Billy Heath booming out err ... constructive criticism and instructions from his dug out.

With the clock nudging towards half time and a few understandably over confident home fans heading off to beat the queue at the bar that was probably swelling by now anyway with Blues fans who had decided it was already time to drown their sorrows, Colin Marrison needlessly bought Danny Walsh down in the box to concede a penalty.

Which Walsh got up and duly despatched into the back of James Lindley's net (see above photo).
So the guys on their way to the bar shrugged "Oh well, it's still 3-1" and carried on about their business without too much concern.
But it wasn't "Still 3-1" for much longer.
Spurred on by their goal, Frickley surged forward again.
Adam Lee played a neat one-two with Danny Clarke but was flattened by Nicky Ellis before he could take a shot at goal.
The referee decided that a yellow card was sufficient punishment for Ellis after pointing to the spot.

Danny Walsh confidently stepped forward again (see above photo) and gave the half time score a look that hadn't seemed very likely just a few minutes before.
Retford had a few chances to regain the ascendancy after the break without getting the final touch they needed.
Just after the hour mark, Adam Lee was sent clear when Andy Catton played a pass over Paul Ellender and into his path, but was unlucky to see his effort come back off the cross bar after he had lobbed the ball over the advancing Lindley.
A minute later there was a bit of a kerfuffle in the Badgers box following a Frickley corner and Adam Lee (who else?) was on hand to steer home the equaliser.
Now it was United's turn to look deflated.

Frickley's Burberry Crew were out in force this afternoon

At 3-3 a pivotal moment in the game that typified how thing's had gone today for the home side came and agonisingly went, when the Badgers substitute Darryl Thomas charged into the box and drew the Blues keeper off his line towards him ... a clever sideways pass found the usually reliable Micky Godber just a few yards out with an open goal in front of him at his mercy. Godber aimed, pulled the trigger and fired ... and the ball sailed over the crossbar, through that big open space in the air where the net for catching stray balls used to stand and into the car park.
If I was a betting man, I would have backed Godber heavily to score from that position.
Just as well I'm not then.

With just five minutes remaining, Frickley were awarded a free kick 25 yards out to the right of the box.
Adam Lee put some back spin on the ball, which glanced off the shoulder of the defender to the right of the wall ... and that was enough to wrong foot James Lindley as the ball beat him just inside the post.
Retford United's heads collectively dropped, they were stunned by how on earth they had now managed to grab a defeat from the jaws a of certain looking comfortable win.
But worse was to come for the Badgers ... in the shape of another free kick for the Blues from almost exactly the same spot in the very last minute.
Lee sized the ball up again (see photo below) and this time he missed the wall completely and directly fired home a fifth goal for the visitors.

It was too late for the home side to respond now.
Frickley Athletic had stuck to their game plan which consisted of a combination of:
Keeping going even when all looked to be lost, not wasting dead ball set pieces and utilising Adam Lee's lightning pace, while Retford United for their part had taken their foot of the gas and let their concentration level slip after cruising into a three goal lead.

Final score Badgers 3 v Blues 5

Now there were a few talking points about the referee, the marvellously named Tony Tankard, after the game.
Retford fans claimed they had spotted a Frickley player's arm swing out to fell one of their team after an alleged stamping incident.
It's not my place to name names if the referee has missed anything, but that very same Frickley player admitted after the game, that the incident with his hand had taken place and said "Yes, I definitely caught him"
In the spirit of fairness I will also grant anonymity to the Retford defender, who with the game delicately balanced at 3-3 'headed' the ball away in his own penalty area with his right hand.
A fairly old (but still perfectly formed) local DJ from Retford pointed out that Adam Lee might not even of been on the pitch when he scored his fourth goal, if the referee had spotted an alleged straight red card offence a few minutes earlier, but one could counter that (I'm not disputing the authenticity of the claim by the way) by saying Nicky Ellis might have got a straight red for bringing down Lee, the last man, to concede the penalty Frickley scored their second goal from.
The referee might have been of the mindset that it's supposed to be a man's game with some level of physical contact being inevitable and was merely letting the game flow a few times ... but personally I reckon he missed all of the above.

There's been quite a lot of work done at Cannon Park in a very short time since my last visit ... which was actually only on Thursday morning!
I might even treat you to a few before, during and after pictures of the work that's been done on the ground sometime in the near future if I'm feeling generous.
Well done to 'Rob the Builder' (you Chelsea bastard!) and his team of helpers on that score, I hope everything goes OK for you on Wednesday when the UniBond ground grading committee come calling.

Worksop Town v Sheffield FC - North Midlands Under 19's League Division One

Thursday 18th March 2010
North Midlands Under 19's League Division One
At Blackwell Miners Welfare, Primrose Hill

Worksop Town (1) 1 (Fox)
Sheffield FC (2) 3 (Galloway 2 inc 1 pen, Askew)

Admission £2, Programme 50p, Attendance 17

A great start for the Tigers when Danny Fox rifled in a shot from the left hand side of the box to give Worksop the lead with barely sixty seconds on the clock.
On five minutes, Sheffield were awarded a penalty, the challenge didn't warrant a spot kick, but the ref had just let play go on when the visitors should have had one a few moments before, so I guess these things even themselves out ... more or less.
Callum Smith got down well to save the kick and preserve the single goal lead, for now.
At the other end Lewis Capewell rose to meet a corner and beat the Sheffield keeper all ends up, but his headed effort crashed against the bar.
Sheffield were awarded another penalty, the referee indicated it was for handball ... just as well he did, because nobody else seemed to know what he had given it for, including a good few of the Sheffield players.
'Club' (a nickname Sheffield FC call themselves) made no mistake this time and Nicky Galloway equalised from the resultant kick.
By now, the referee seemed to be stopping the game more and more frequently for a series of offences that mystified both sets of players.
I know there would be no game without the match officials, but this was rapidly becoming a 'non game' due to the curious antics of the referee.
You would've thought he'd have needed at least a rudimentary grasp of the rules to take charge of a game of football ... apparently not.
Sheffield, through the sheer persistence of Jon Askew, forced a second goal and took a 2-1 lead in with them at the break.
It had been a fairly well contested first half and Worksop's performance was about 200% better than the last time I saw them play.
They were working hard together as a team unit and obviously benefiting from playing regularly after the enforced break caused by the winter weather.
Alas, the second half was all about one man, Mr Thistlewood, the referee, who ruined a decent game of football with a display of cringe-worthy ineptitude.
I'm all for the RESPECT campaign whereby people are encouraged to treat match officials with the RESPECT their position merits, but how are these young players supposed to learn good manners towards the man in black when he gets everything (and I mean everything) wrong and treats the players so disrespectfully?
He seriously seemed to think the game was all about him and that we'd all come to watch his histrionics and centre stage performance.

Note the discreet blog advertisement on the front cover

I'm not just saying this because his shambolic handling of the game ultimately cost the Tigers the game, after all, following tonight's game Sheffield are joint top with Staveley MW and are a very capable team, who most likely would've won the game by virtue of their own efforts anyway.
But it was the ref who directly contributed to the third goal.
Sheffield pushed up on the right and one of their players belted a shot across the face of the goal. It missed and nobody connected with the ball as it went harmlessly wide for a goal kick. Amazingly, the referee pointed for a corner.
"How the bloody hell is that a corner referee!? It's their goal kick" called out a Sheffield supporter.
The referee consulted with his linesman, but he hadn't been keeping up with play and was unable to assist with the decision making process at this juncture.
In the goalmouth scrum that followed the flag kick, the referee suddenly blew his whistle and pointed to the centre circle, he had given a goal, yet no Sheffield player had claimed the ball had crossed the line or celebrated and they seemed bemused to have been awarded a very fortunate third.
Nicky Galloway was credited with the goal so I doubt if he'll be complaining.

The referee blows his whistle, AGAIN, while all the players look on puzzled,
waiting to see what imaginary infringement he's spotted this time.

From then on in, the ref's display just got worse and worse, with both sets of players, officials and fans completely baffled by his curious array of decisions.
If I was a referee's assessor, I would have marched onto the pitch and having relieved Mr Thistlewood of his whistle, cards and notebook ... banished him from the field of play before he could do any more damage. He was that bad.
I guess we're all entitled to have an off night and it's only human nature to make a few mistakes, but the referee killed this game off as a contest and a spectacle, long before he put us all out of our misery by bringing an evening of pure farce to an end with the only blast on his whistle any of us agreed with all night.
Thankfully, people from both clubs, were laughing at the officials ineptitude and cracking jokes with each other about him ... there was little point in getting angry about his ridiculous handling of the game. He was unlikely to suddenly become a competent referee any time soon.
Mr A Thistlewood, you turned what had been a very pleasurable evening into a bloody miserable night. At least I know if your name ever appears on the team sheet again that I can go home before kick off and spare myself from having to watch any more of your absurdity and nonsense.
Jeez and I thought UniBond League officials weren't up to scratch sometimes.

So you know. Bricks from the nearby Blackwell Colliery were used to build

some of the facilities at the Primrose Hill welfare ground. Fascinating eh!?

On Sunday, Sheffield FC are hosting a charity fund raising game:

Sunday 21st March 2010
The Coach & Horses Ground
Charity match in aid of the Northern General Hospital
Vascular Ward and Mobility Physio Department

CHRIS WADDLE'S SFC ALL STARS
v.
SHEFFIELD FC VETERANS

Kick Off 3PM

Admission £3 - Concessions £2

Edinburgh City v Gretna 2008 - East of Scotland League, Kings Cup 2nd Round

Wednesday 17th March 2010
East of Scotland League, Kings Cup 2nd Round
at Meadowbank Stadium, London Road, Edinburgh

Edinburgh City (1) 3 (Howat 2, Gair)
Gretna 2008 (0) 1 (Jeffery)

Admission £4, Programme £1

"Edinburgh. A city, the size of a town, that thinks it's a village."

Ian Rankin

I had to be a bit careful upon entering the Meadowbank Stadium tonight, once you've passed through the turnstile, you have to cross an artificial running track that runs beneath the grandstand to get to the stairs that lead up to the seats.
Tonight there was an athletics club practice meeting taking place in there and I didn't want any of those finely toned young ladies in their 'clima cool' tight fitting, aerodynamically designed running gear, crashing into me and falling on top of me in an undignified heap.
Nor did I want to get arrested if the temptation to take such a timely liaison to the next level didn't prove to be mutually convenient.
Anyway, here's a picture of the running track ... I know you're only interested in the football and facilities and wouldn't want to see pictures of pert little buttocks squeezed into running shorts.
I can remember 'back in t'olden days' when you had to look inside a ladies shorts to see her bottom, these days you have to look up her backside to see her shorts.
What is the world coming to!?

Turnstiles left, stairway to seats right, very fit women behind me and out of shot

Of course, when you get upstairs, into the cavernous stand, the pitch itself stands across another six lane running track and a sandpit, so the action is quite some distance away.
Just as well my eyesight is good and I haven't been perusing any other of the indoor track pictures I took yet then.
Kick off was delayed due to Gretna and their fans arriving slightly late because of congestion on the Edinburgh bypass caused by a car fire.
But the game got started at about 7.50PM and the hold up was nothing too major. Unless it happened to be your car of course.
Gretna 2008, are the reborn from the ashes, brand new version, of Gretna FC. The only team I had ever seen playing in competitive fixtures, home and away, against both Worksop Town and Hearts.
In actual fact, I've seen them play home and away in the UniBond League (v. Worksop Town x 2), home and away in the Scottish Football League (v. Berwick Rangers x 2), home and 'away' in the SPL (v. Hearts x 2) when they were ground sharing with Motherwell at Fir Park ... I even saw their last ever game as Gretna FC there (v. Hearts) and also saw them play at Hampden Park in the 2006 Scottish Cup Final (a game they lost on penalties to Hearts).
But this is the first time I've ever seen them play at Non League/Junior level in Scotland. I'm not counting the time I passed Fernieside Rec' on the bus to Hearts while Tynecastle FC v Gretna 2008 was taking place there (Tynecastle were taking a corner that the visitors keeper caught with ease as I recall).
After a short spell at the local athletics ground, the new club now play at Gretna's old ground, Raydale Park and seem to have picked up a good few of the original clubs followers, who from my experience have always been a very cheerful and sociable lot.

On fifteen minutes, City won a throw on the right wing, level with the penalty area.
It was launched into the mix and headed on across the six yard box, where Andy Howat was waiting to firmly plant an header into the visitors goal.
The crowd went wil ... err, there was a polite ripple of applause that might even have been audible out in the swirling wind on the dim and distant field of play.
It seems the floodlights at Meadowbank were designed more for running events and as a consequence the track is infinitely better lit than the pitch itself.
Before half time, Edinburgh City blasted a close range shot over, Gretna had an effort saved just under the bar and a Gretna defender cleared a goal bound effort off his line with just moments to spare.
I bet all those suckers who were sat in the nice warm pub just up the hill watching Barcelona on TV weren't enjoying this much excitement.

Gretna (in blue) defend an Edinburgh City (in white) corner, obviously!

In the second half, Edinburgh City threatened to run riot.
Their new signing Howat fired home his second from inside the box, tonight was only his second game for the 'Citizens' after signing from Bonnyrigg Rose, he scored a goal on his debut against Coldstream too.
And then Dougie Gair ran on to a defence splitting through ball to whack home a third goal for the home side.
Edinburgh then had a penalty saved (Howat took it in an attempt to reach his hat trick) and missed a virtually open goal within the space of a minute.
Then Gretna added to their own problems when defender Dean Rea got himself red carded for fouling the last man as City mounted yet another attack. The attacker was ... a bloody long way away and I couldn't make out his number.
Then, just as Gretna appeared to be completely capitulating, they hoofed a left wing free kick into Edinburgh's area that David Jeffrey leapt, like a salmon, to reach ... and he headed home a consolation goal.
Such is life.
It's these ironic little sub plots that make football the grand old game it is.

As I left Meadowbank the temperature was plummeting.
Rapidly.
And I was very grateful to see my bus approaching the stop that stands just outside the ground.
Night buses in the city can at times resemble a mental asylum on wheels, but I didn't care about that, regardless of who was already on the bus, I would be warm and on the way to my temporary bed, via a piping hot supper I'd defrosted 'specially earlier on.
I love it when a plan comes together.
A windswept, elderly man approached me on the bus, he was quite unkempt and looked slightly psychotic.
"Hey Rob" he growled "Do ya know who got the Gretna goal late on there?"
"Err ... yes mate. It was David Jeffrey" I nervously replied.
He pulled out a notebook and pencil and recorded the information.
Then went back to his seat without uttering another word.
Phew! For a minute there, though I'm still slightly nonplussed as to how the hell he knew my real name (Ian Midloth is actually a pseudonym), I was quite relieved.
I thought he might have been some sad, lonely nutter for a minute.
Heaven forbid there might be any such characters prowling out n' about in the vicinity of London Road, EH7, on a night such as this, eh!?

Two Go Mad In Messingham

A LINCOLNSHIRE INTERMEDIATE LEAGUE TRIPLE HEADER,
WOO HOO!
Today marked the very special occasion of me achieving one of my lifetime ambitions (well, I've toyed with the idea for a couple of seasons now anyway).
Namely, to watch the legendary Scotter United play at their world famous Northmoor Park home, in the West Lindsey region of Lincolnshire.

The sun came out to greet us as we entered Stad de la Northmoor.
It was a very moving and pivotal moment in my life.

The village of Scotter, stands halfway along the A159 road, which runs between Gainsborough and Scunthorpe and also cuts through Messingham and Bottesford.
On Wednesday night, while I was up in Tow Law freezing my 'pips' off, I received confirmation that a Sunday Lincolnshire Intermediate League double was on the cards this weekend, because Bottesford Town v Lincoln United was kicking off in the morning and Scotter United v Appleby Frodingham was being played in the afternoon.
Which is ideal for this humble scribe, because Scotter is on the way back home for me from Bottesford.
That news gave me an inner glow and warmed me up no end against the biting County Durham cold.
Birch Park, the home of Bottesford Town is dead easy to find.
Go left at the lights as you enter the town (AKA the only lights), right into the housing estate, follow Quebec Road into Ontario Road and then, just when you think you've gone too far and there can't possibly be a football ground in that locality, there it is on the left.
Two other clues to help you, if you're hapless enough to come unstuck while following these very simple directions are:
1) The floodlights tower above the adjacent houses and can be seen from miles away, even in broad daylight.
And 2) Follow the road signs that read SPORTS GROUND, which are in plentiful supply all the way from the A159 to the car park at your intended destination.
On arrival at the ground, slightly earlier than intended, we bumped into the match referee who was saying he was keen to get started on time today, because of the 'two game, double header.'
I assumed at this point, that he must be going to Scotter afterwards too and couldn't fathom why every single minute was of the essence to him, because there was a big time window to fill before the second game and my sidekick and I had just been planning which Public House between the two grounds we'd be having a leisurely paced lunch in before heading to Northmoor Park.
Then the mystery was solved, when the manager of Scotter United joined us (what a big fat name dropper I am today), hiya Colin! And told us about what was about to happen at Birch Park ...
Due to a fixtures backlog and owing to the fact that the LIL is run along the same lines as the SPL, there were two Bottesford Town v Lincoln United games that needed cramming into both teams congested outstanding fixture lists ASAP, so they were going to play both games, right here, right now, back to back.
I worked out the maths and concluded, there would still be 20 minutes to get to Scotter, a mere ten minutes drive away (ish) if we stayed around for both games at Bottesford.
We'd have to sacrifice our pub lunch, but what with it being Mothering Sunday, everywhere would probably be busy anyway.
Even for Intermediate League games, the Birch Park catering van is always open for business as usual and if those Lincolnshire sausages tasted half as good as that aroma wafting towards us suggested they would, stuffing our faces wouldn't be a problem.
They did, it wasn't!

A wheelie bin for disabled people to stand on.
Bottesford Town think of everything!

Sunday 14th March 2010.
Lincolnshire Intermediate League - North League
Admission to all 3 games was free.
Programmes ... don't be daft.

Game 1
Birch Park
Bottesford Town (1) 1
Lincoln United (0) 2
Bottesford had to start with a player short, because their 11th man was still en route to the ground when it kicked off. He eventually arrived about 10 minutes into the game.
The first goal came from a back post header from a right wing corner that Lincoln failed to deal with.
It was now up to the hosts to show that they could hold onto a lead and thwart any comeback.
In the second half however, the visitors scored twice, once when a big hoof of the ball upfield/defence splitting precision long pass* fell between their central defenders for a Lincoln forward to run on to and make no mistake from close range and the other from a completely unmarked header.
At one stage there was a brawl on the pitch, the main instigator appeared to be Lincoln's rather attitudal Sam Orrott, which was a shame because he was by far the most talented player on the pitch by quite some way.
The referee called the captains together and told them to control their players and the game calmed down.
This is the same referee, just 22 years old, who was officiating a game recently and woke up in hospital, having been the victim of a viscous head butt that laid him out cold on the pitch, the assault was made by an Under 18's player who is currently subject to a police investigation.

Anyway, on with the show, after a break for twenty minutes or so during which time Mr Picken Esq. shot off back to Scotter to prepare his team for their match this afternoon:
Game 2
Birch Park
Bottesford United (1) 1
Lincoln United (2) 2
Stop me if you've heard this one before, but Bottesford took an early lead, a soft goal for Lincoln to concede, from a corner.
But then the visitors fought back to win 2-1.
This time though all of the goals were scored in the first 25 minutes.
Lincoln's equaliser was from a spot kick that was put away by Sam Orrott, who was behaving himself much better now ... probably too knackered to waste his energy puffing his chest out and growling any more after two games in quick succession.

How to take a penalty. Are you watching BPA!?

One player however, who obviously had too much energy to burn off, was Lincoln's number 14, who was sent off while still laying on the floor feeling sore from an heavy challenge he had put in.

Game 3
Northmoor Park
Scotter United (2) 4
Appleby Frodingham (1) 3
We arrived at Northmoor Park with a whole nine minutes to spare before kick off and were met by Mrs Picken (sorry to be so formal I'm crap at remembering names) who kindly told us that hot drinks and chocolate biscuits would be available at half time.
After approximately 9 minutes, Scotter powered into the lead courtesy of an headed goal that dropped into the net beyond the visiting keeper's reach.
5 minutes later it was 2-0 as the keeper air kicked a back pass and left Scotter's number 10 the simplest of close range chances to knock in with his magic bright yellow boots.

Defensive coaching manual. If their number 5 gets between you and the ball,
grab him firmly by the arm to stop him getting his header on target.

Offensive coaching manual. If their goalie is a short arse, stand that lanky
Peter Crouch lookalike in front of him to obscure his view.

Appleby Frodingham pulled a goal back after a bit of a defensive mix up by the left post.
Which set the game up nicely for the second half.
The strong coffee and Kit Kat went down a treat (ta very much Mrs P) and it was on with the game after a 1o minute break, there is no requirement for one of those long 15 minute rest periods the Premier League players need in this league.
Scotter's 'massive' goalkeeper mishandled the ball which fell right to the feet of an Appleby Frodingham player who rolled it across the face of the goal to create a simple tap in for the equaliser.
But United were in front again on 61 minutes (or thereabouts) when number 10 in his fancy boots scored again, after the keeper had saved his original effort.
With about 10 minutes remaining, the visitors equalised yet again.
A well hit shot struck the post with the Scotter keeper well beaten, but there were plenty of players following up in case of a rebound and the ball was smashed home.
The Appleby Frodingham players all piled on top of each other in celebration. Err, why? The game wasn't over yet and the goal was an equaliser, not a winner.
In the last few minutes, Scotter stabbed home a fourth goal from inside the area following a right wing corner.
But the visitors still wouldn't concede defeat and in the very last minute a well struck attempt was saved magnificently by the Scotter keeper, a save that made up for any earlier mishaps and secured all three points for United.
By now a stiff breeze had got up, blowing across the fields adjacent to Fortress Northmoor, so we decided to skip the ice cream stop in Blyton and head home instead.
Three games, thirteen goals, some PROPER grass roots football and home by 4.30PM.
Now, that's my kinda life :-)

Bradford Park Avenue v Worksop Town - UniBond League Premier Division

Saturday 13th March 2010. UniBond League Premier Division
at Horsfall Stadium, Bradford

Bradford Park Avenue (0) 1 (O'Brien 57)
Worksop Town (0) 0

Admission £8, Programme £2, Free Team Sheet
Attendance 475
This afternoon, I saw the UniBond League leaders host the third from bottom club.
I don't think I'd be exaggerating, if I was to say, that by the end of the game the difference between the two sides out on the field of play today was negligible for long spells.

Did you ever wonder what became of Orville when he grew up?

Horsfall Stadium is a multi sports arena, with the football pitch stuck in the middle of an athletics track.

There is a big stand along one side of the ground, the seats in it used to live at Lords cricket ground.
But around the rest of the 'stadium' there are no spectator facilities at all, just pitch level hard standing outside the perimeter fence that acts as a boundary to the running track.

At the end of the ground where the bar is this means you have to watch the game from quite a distance away from the pitch.

I didn't read about it anywhere, though there is no earthly reason why I would have done, me not being a fan of equestrian sports n' all, but it looks as though they have just staged the Horse of the Year show on the pitch.
It was in a very poor state.

On a bumpy surface and with the wind blowing across the pitch, the game wasn't always pretty to watch.

Avenue created a few chances early on, but they were soon to discover that Worksop had arrived intent on matching them every inch of the way for effort and that they weren't in for an easy afternoon.

Jamie Jackson (or Jermaine Jackson as I heard somebody call him) was causing the home side problems down the right flank and from dead ball situations (see below). It looks like he's going to be a great signing given the impact he's already had.

Incidentally, Gary Townsend powered an header just over the bar from the corner being taken in this picture.

Bradford are a really strong side and not easily knocked off the ball, they are not leading the pack at present by default.
But just before half time one of the lightest players on the pitch, Ben Tomlinson, nearly fired Worksop ahead after Jackson and Townsend had combined well to set him up.

Alas, Steve Dickinson was equal to Ben's effort and snuffed out the danger at the last moment and the sides went into the break level at nil apiece.

Kevin Dexter at a Tigers game? I never thought he'd be back ;-)

After the break, Kevin Davies hit a long range rasping shot that BPA's keeper did well to hold on to, but then the home side went about showing why they are top of the league and the Tigers had to weather a bit of a storm for a while.
On 57 minutes a ball that ought to have been cleared was hit out onto the edge of the area instead, where Rob O'Brien seized upon it and neatly hooked the ball over Jon Kennedy into the top corner of the net.

An elderly 'exotic dancer' carrying his shopping around the pitch.

Avenue's Stephen Downs hit the Worksop crossbar, but a few minutes later he had a chance to make amends for his miss when the Tigers conceded a penalty.
Just before Downs took the spot kick, the Horsfall Stadium PA announcer dropped a bit of a bollock by playing the clip of music that he usually greets the scoring of a goal with.
A little bit premature then.
Downs then stepped up and dropped an even bigger bollock, by belting the ball so high over the crossbar it was in danger of smashing the WTSC '08 coach window, which was parked in the street outside.

Downs drops an even bigger bollock

The penalty miss spurred Worksop on and Bradford had to defend their lead right until the death now.
The closest the Tigers came to sharing the points was when Matt Austin hit a shot narrowly over the crossbar and Luke Shiels hit a pile driver that smashed against the crossbar.

These things go in for you when you're top of the league, but when your luck's out ... well, they don't.
In the words of John Deacey, Avenue's manager "It was a good performance by Worksop who worked hard throughout and when your own team is not on top form it's results like this that see you to promotion", Worksop will just have to wait until next season to see if that theory is correct I guess ... remember where you read it first!